The One That...

Another topic in the 30-day Writing My Life Challenge that I'm supposed to do was about "The One That Got Away". But I'm feeling extra generous today so I'm surprising you guys with a treat! I will label all the men I've loved before with The One That... I just want to disclaim first that I have no intention of ruining the current lives of the people I will mention below. The stories are from my own point of view. That's how I saw things then and how I translate it to now. We are all happy with our separate lives so let's leave it at that. For everyone's peace of mind, I will not drop names. Fair enough? So are you guys ready? Okey here goes... nothing --

Image from ThinkPositive30.com

The One That... Started It All

F was my first boyfriend. I experienced a lot of firsts with him. He was the first big decision I made in my life, that being my disobedience to my parents' order to refrain from having boyfriends. He was the first non-family person who made me feel special, the first one to give me flowers, my first dance on our Senior Prom, the first one to take me home to mother (see what I did there? haha), my first inspiration to do better in school, my first kiss, my first love, and my first heartache (which I shared HERE). I can go on and on about the first things I did with him but I guess that one post is enough.

F, wherever you are, thank you for every first things you made me experience. I'm sorry if I was not able to keep up with your undying love for me. You are a good man and I really hope you'll find the perfect one for you.  


The One That... Taught Me Karma

Let's name him T. If you read the story of my first heartache, you'll know that T was somewhat in the scene already when F and I were on the rocks. But to wash my hands off the sin you are imagining in your head, I did not two-time F. T was not the reason why I broke up with F. It just so happened that I fell in love fast -- really fast that maybe it was also the reason why he was taken from me really fast also. Tooth for a tooth, eh? We started out as best friends, which were later on became a laughing stock among our common friends. They said that I only used that word to 'label' our relationship even before it happened. Anyhoo, we were together for only 2 months and 2 days. That was January to March. It was a pre-summer fling! Yup, we had our falling apart during the summer vacation. Coming from a clingy long-term relationship, I expected a lot from him. I wanted him to update me on how he spent his day at home during that vacation. He, on the other hand, has been single for so long that my actions were too dominating for him. He broke up with me via text. Ohh yes, he was my karma! I was left alone after leaving someone else. Sadly, our whole relationship was branded as a joke by my friends. I can still remember T and I talked sometime after our breakup. He told me that he was actually hurt about this whole 'joke' thing because he believed that our relationship was actually more than 2 months and 2 days because we were best friends longer. Oh well, given the reason of our breakup, maybe we can say that things simply didn't work out between us because we were young and immature. Timing and distance also did not cooperate with us. There are things that were left unresolved, like -- Why did he just give up? Did he fell out of love? If we were able to talk personally during the crisis, will things work out differently? I never really found out. But after all the pain and hatred, I still respected him too much that it did not tarnish my opinion that he is a great man. I believe that we are both good people, maybe just not good enough for each other at that time.

T, after all the things that happened (and didn't happen), I still want to thank you for the friendship we shared and for the pain you made me experience, which humbled me. I still believe that you are a good man and I am truly happy for whatever is happening with your life right now. Friends forever?


The One That... Made Me Strong

The relationship I had with K was the hardest of all to talk about because it took me a long time to try to forget all the bad stuff that happened. After T, deciding to be with K was really a big leap. My comatosed-heart was brought to life because of him. I can't remember how our attraction started but I remembered asking God for a sign if he's the one. My fondest memory of it was when my BFF and I played a test game if K and I were really soulmates. For one whole week, if both of us come to school in the same color of clothes then we're meant to be together. For some weird reasons, we matched. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. That's really fascinating! When he showed interest in me, I wanted to retract back because I never thought that things will get serious. But it did. The things he did to win me were surprising and I let things grow from there. I was finally happy in love again! When we get past a year into the relationship, I started to picture my future with him. He stayed with me during the trying times of my life. He actually even helped me financially. He was my longest relationship before things get really ugly. By ugly, I meant he cheated on me, with a friend. I was beyond devastated. My world was shaken. I wanted to die. Yup, it's that bad. I re-arranged my world around him so everyday I'm hurting. Every time I see my friends, I am reminded of the good times K and I have with them. That's the reason why I went away. I was so tired of being miserable so I decided to try to build a new world away from him, without him. I went to Laguna and worked there. I met new friends and eventually I found myself smiling again. The hurt is still there but I have learned to let go. I was introduced to a stronger me, the one that does not need him to survive. I've come to love myself better. Slowly, I eased my way back to our circle of friends. True to its promise, time heals all wounds. One day, I just found myself genuinely smiling at him. I know that I will never forget what he did to me but finally I can say that I have forgiven.

K, with all my heart I thank you. Because of you, I realized that I am stronger than I thought I was. Thank you for not taking me back even if I offered to be your number 2 after you chose her. You saved me from getting stuck to being a pathetic 'mistress'. But know that I do not regret doing that. You know why? Because that's one what-if off my list. At least, I can say that I did my best to fight for you. Thank you for leaving me with my pride. If you didn't let me go, I wouldn't have met D. I would not be as happy as I am today. And you wouldn't have met your wife also, so I guess you have to thank me too? 


The One That... Never Was

C and I never really had an 'official' relationship. Maybe if you'll ask C about me, he'll just say that there's no us. But I'd like to put him up in this list since I exerted a bit of real emotions for him. That 'thing' that C and I shared happened a few months after K and I broke up. Yes, it was during the time that I'm hurting and you can say that C was my rebound. I was so desperate to be happy that I encouraged everything that makes me smile. My friends knew that I have a long-time crush with C so they supported my flirtations. Before I knew it, we were textmates and callmates, and whatsoever -mates. We talked about everything everyday until the wee hours of the next morning. We even had pet names for each other as if we were truly a couple. Because of those bonding moments, I've learned a lot of things about him. I got to know his family thru his stories. I had a glimpse of his dreams. I sympathized with his hardships. By hardships, it also include his heartbreaks. One of which was the pain a certain girl gave him. That girl, as he said, has feelings for him also but was not ready to get into a relationship so he was friend-zoned. He told me I was special, I believed him. I was special until the girl learned about us and decided that I cannot take 'her' man away. Silly me fought back with something I was not proud of doing. The once special-turned silly me was left alone, friend-zoned.

C, what happened? Hahaha! But it's ok, I'm fine, you're fine, she's fine. We're all doing fine! I just want to thank you for keeping me from killing myself because of my past heartache. Maybe that's your purpose in my life noh? Geee thanks!


That One More Chance

And finally, my favorite story. I have blogged about our love story HERE. You might ask why That One More Chance? What do you think was the state of my heart after all these stories above? I was traumatized! There was one season in my life where I just tired myself to death so I can just sleep at night without thinking. But on some unsuccessful nights, I just cried myself to sleep. My Laguna friends (including D) helped me to be happy again. They taught me that one does not need a love life just to be happy, that happiness is always a choice. Slowly, I was taken out of the darkness. But still I do not want to fall in love again. I had several episodes of play times with boys before D, but as I said, that's all play. And then the unexpected happened, D and I found ourselves in love. The hesitant me did not know what to do but eventually decided to just let the book unfold naturally. I said - Just One More Chance. If after this, I will still fail then I will stop my heart from loving next time. And as you know, the rest is history.

D, life with you is not perfect but I'm enjoying every minute of it -- happy, sad and all. I do not need to write what I feel here because I have all my life to say it to you personally. I'm actually looking forward to growing old with you. You are truly my one more chance I never thought I'd find. I love you, miel. Always.


So that's it. I'll leave you guys with this quote that one of my best professors in college gave me - It's the lover, not the love, that broke your heart. No matter what heartache you'll go through, always choose to love. It does not necessarily mean the opposite sex kind of love. Maybe you can love yourself more? Or better yet, it is not too late to offer your life to our Creator. It is His in the first place. Then maybe if you pray hard enough and He thinks you deserve it, He'll give you what your heart desires.


With so much love,
Yosh

Something that happened in the mall

http://medical-diagonosis.wonderhowto.com

Of all the things I did in the mall, may it be alone or with someone or with a bunch of people, this story is the most memorable. Why? Because I did something cringe-worthy.

I POOPED IN THE MALL! :D

I know! You can laugh now. I tried to keep myself from doing that because the mall that day was too crowded but nature's call was too loud. I excused myself from our friends and told them that I just need to use the restroom. Unfortunately, one of my friends joined me. So the two of us fell in line to use one of the public toilets. I asked to go first since I cannot hold it anymore. I was perspiring all over, I cannot even talk. On my turn to use the cubicle, I felt relieved that I was able to make it in time. I didn't poop on my pants. Yay! As I was wiping myself, I realized I have a new problem. The smell of what I just did was lingering in the air and my friend will use the toilet next. I do not have a match or any perfume with me to freshen the air. What to do? Oh crap, I just went out and told my friend that the one before me pooped so it's not smelling nice. I really just need to use the restroom to pee so I ignored the smell. Upon smelling the cube, she decided she did not need to pee. Yass!

I do not know if my friend bought my story or she's just too shy to tell it to my face that I'm the one who did that. Whatevs! After that incident, I always make sure that I poop before I leave the house. Or for emergency purposes, I have to find a less crowded public toilet.

Moving onnnnnn.. :P


Totally embarrassed,
Yosh

A kiss

Remember I started this 30-day Writing My Life Challenge thing? I was able to do it for 2 days lang. I was not able to sustain it because I got too busy. Kalokie! If you're still interested to read, here they are --

The 30-day Writing My Life Challenge (Day 1) : The Story Behind My Profile Photo
The 30-day Writing My Life Challenge (Day 2) : Your First Heartbreak

Anyhoo, I guess I can continue it now since I'm not that busy anymore. But the essence got lost somewhere na e. But I still want to write about some things in the 'supposed' list pa rin. Sana you guys won't mind. I'll be dropping the "The 30-day Writing My Life Challenge (Day #)" na lang. Para hindi rin ako mapressure or maiwan ko na naman sya in the middle of it. Oki?

My chosen topic for this day is "A Kiss". Juicy enough for you? Hahahaha!!

Of all the kisses I've had, my most favorite will always be D and I's first kiss as husband and wife. Aba shempre naman! No explanation needed. Given na yun. Look naman oh --

But shempre kung may pinakafavorite, meron din akong most memorable. And sorry to disappoint you but it's not with D. It was with my first boyfriend. Up until now na kahit antanda ko na, I still remember the moment. Why? Well, to tell you honestly, that was not our first kiss pero it was the one that made an impact on me because of the reason behind the kiss and the place where we did it. We were seated on a man-made stone bench under a tree on top of a mountain while watching the sunset. Gets? Hahaha! Something ganto sa pic sa baba. Imagine a boy sitting on the far end then ako nakahiga sa lap nya. Ganern! Summer nun, kagagraduate lang namin sa high school. Nakapagenroll na din kami sa college. It was one afternoon before the school starts kaya sinasamantala namin yung moment together. We knew na come June we will be busy with our respective college lives na. My then-bf, being the more romantic one sa aming dalawa was really emotional. He made me promise na we will still have time for each other. With matching iyakan pa kami nyan. Hahaha! Tapos ayun he leaned down to kiss my lips. Kaya ko lang siguro hindi makakalimutan kasi ang ganda ng setting saka ang emo lang namin. Bleh

Photo grabbed from the net

So how about you? What can you share about A Kiss?


Mwah,
Yosh

#PrayForPUPHAM

Nung fresh grad pa ako, proud na proud ako sa resume ko. Tuwing iinterviewhin ako sa work, winiwish ko na sana mabasa ng interviewer yung Affiliations part ng CV ko. Sa isip ko, "Sige na po, hayaan nyo ako magkwento tungkol sa grupo ko." I was that proud that I am a part of PUP Help, Assist and Mobilize Radio Communications Group. At hindi lang ako basta part, naging VP for Internal Affairs din ako.

I admit na never akong naging techie pagdating sa pagraradyo. Ipinaubaya ko yan kay Chester bilang VPEA sya (Haha). Wala akong masyadong alam sa pagsesetup ng radyo, wala rin akong sariling setup sa bahay (for a short time lang nung nakahiram ako ng Charlie kay 97) at lalong hindi ko kayang sagutan ang entrance exam ng mga probis ngayon. Ang alam ko lang, masaya kami dati. Bilang VPIA, sure ako na okey na okey ang Internal Affairs ng grupo. At wala kaming gusot na tuluyang lumaki at di nasolusyunan.

Shempre, we had our own dose of problems. Pinakamalala jan yung misunderstanding between us enrolled and the alumni. You see, ang membership kasi sa PUPHAM ay lifetime. Palaging may 'say' ang mga alumni kahit graduate na sila. For some reasons na ayoko na pagkwentuhan pa in detail, we had a clash. To summarize, nanindigan kami, bilang enrolled, na kami dapat ang in control bilang pangalan namin ang nakataya. For the alumni, nasaktan sila bilang naechapwera sila. Sabi nila, and I quote: "Pag naging alumni kayo, maiintindihan nyo din kami". Naitaguyod naman namin ang org at nakagraduate kami ng matiwasay. Naging ok din kami eventually sa mga alumni.

Ngayon, alumni na din kami. At may malaking issue na naman na kinahaharap ang grupo. Sobrang lala, na ang mga Founders at BOD ng grupo ay nagtawag ng forced resignation sa current president. As expected, nakiramay at nagresign na rin ang 2 VPs. Nakakalungkot. Nagegets ko ang bawat panig, na sa aking palagay ay madaling maayos basta pagusapan. Malaking bagay, oo, pero kayang ayusin. Alumni na rin ako pero maraming bagay pa rin akong di maintindihan. Alam ko wala akong karapatang magsalita dahil hindi ko alam lahat ng nangyayari at hindi rin naman ako active. Ang sa akin lang, sana pagusapan ng PERSONAL at huwag magpatutsadahan sa Facebook. Kung simula pa lang pinagusapan na, hindi na sana lumaki pa.

It brought me to the point kung bakit mahal na mahal ko ang PUPHAM. O baka may tumaas ang kilay jan. Kahit hindi po ako active, mahal ko ang grupo. Sa sobrang pagmamahal ko, handa akong bigyan ang enrolled ng kalayaan na patakbuhin ang grupo sa paraang tingin nila ay tama. Bilang alumni, andito ako para sumuporta at magbigay ng payo. Hindi na nila kailangan ng isa pang critic, they have enough. Pero shempre, sure ako na mas mahal ng mga Founders at BOD ang grupo bilang sila ang gumawa nito. Naiintindihan ko kung bakit ganun sila kaprotective sa grupo. Pero sana bilang mas nakatatanda, subukan din nilang idaan sa tama ang lahat. Again, pagusapan ng PERSONAL. Anyhoo, going back...

Mahal ko ang PUPHAM bilang dito, AKO AY AKO. Labo? Errr. During the early days of my college years, wala akong sariling identity. Unpopular kasi ako. Hindi ako matalino. Hindi ako maganda. Subukan mo akong ipagtanong sa kahit sinong ECE sa batch namin, ang isasagot sayo - "Huh sino yun?". Pero subukan mo dugtungan ng - "Yung tropa ni Posh saka Joann?". Ayan baka makilala na ako. Tanggap ko po yun, walang kaso saken. Simula sa kalagitnaan hanggang sa bandang dulo ng 5-year stay ko sa PUP, nagkaroon ako ng jowa na popular. Hindi na ako tropa ni Posh at Joann LANG, syota na ako nung math wiz na taga-ECESS. Again, tanggap ko po yun. Mahal ko e, proud na rin. But then mabait saken si Lord, ayaw nya ako gumraduate na walang sariling identity. Dahil sa PUPHAM, may maipagmamalaki na rin ako. Sa loob ng 100, ako si 122. Ako si Secretary-turned-VPIA. Hindi ako si 124A, si 124 ang 122A. Dahil sa PUPHAM, napakita ko ang worth ko bilang isang PUPian. Oo, nung gumraduate ako naging famous ako dahil ako yung syota ng math wiz na taga-ECESS na pinagpalit sa classmate nila. Pero sa sarili ko, mas ako pa rin si 122 ng PUPHAM. Wapakels na sa sasabihin ng iba.

Makulay ang aking college years, at malaking factor don ang PUPHAM. Kaya masisisi mo ba ako na ang title ng post na to ay #PrayforPUPHAM?


Umaasang maaayos pa,
Yosh

Investment Maturity Level 2

Aside from our house, I think my biggest investment is my sister's education. This is something I was not forced to do but I willingly offered. You know why? Because I think the fact that God gave her to us in the later times of our lives is a blessing. You remembered that D and I promised not to live with the in-laws? I can't imagine leaving my mother alone by herself. It's true that a son can but a daughter cannot. Girls have so many emotions inside! Anyhoo, back to my sister being a blessing, since she is with us na, my mother has a companion until she gets old. That's a relief!

What I just asked my sister in return - 

1. Never leave my mother.

2. When she graduate and is earning money her own, try not to ask money from me. 

You see, we experienced this problem in our family where the parents expected their children to pay for everything and always treat them with luxury after the child graduates. The reason, according to them, is that they sent them to school. They call it utang na loob. I understand that that is how things were in the past and this is how Filipinos culture works. 

But in my opinion, as parents, it is your responsibility to support your child. That is a child's basic human right. You wanted children, then you have to support them until they can stand on their own. See how the mother birds do this to their inakays? They feed them until they can fly on their own. Once they can flap their own wings, then they are free to go. They can hunt their own food but they are not obliged to hunt for their mothers. Their mothers can now bear another set of eggs to take care of.

That's how I envisioned me and my sister's future to be. I told her that I will not ask her to repay me. She can do so by being independent. I expect her to stand on her own and not ask money from me anymore. Maybe in some emergency situation, yes. But for sustenance, no.

Anyhoo, too much of that. Here's some photos of my sister's graduation last March.

Additional bonus for me that she graduated with honors. 3 more graduations to go and I'm done - Junior High School, Senior High School and College. Yey for Ate!

Proud Ate,

Yosh

I stayed for 5 years!

... and it is the longest time I stayed in a company.

So maybe we can conclude that I'm happy with where I am now? Yes, you can say that but of course, it is not perfect (nothing is). I'm just contented. With a great boss, good friends and challenging projects, what more can one ask for? 

I celebrated my 5th year last February 21, 2016. How time flies! The company gave me this - 

The center gave everyone who turned 5 years a Swatch of the same design! Every time I wear this in the office, I have mixed emotions. Proud that I'm one of the pioneers but sad that I am old. Hahaha!

This one is from corporate. There actually were a lot of items to choose from but I decided to get this watch for D since he's been meaning to buy a new everyday watch.

Hopefully, in the near future, they'll give us some retirement benefits. For now, this is good. All is good!

Feeling old,

Yosh

Holy Week 2016

So we did a bit of road-tripping again last Holy Week. Nothing grand, just good times with friends.

We decided to join our friends' homecoming to their province in Bacnotan, La Union. We stayed in a camp site near the beach. I forgot lang to get the name of the place. It's just a row of simple rooms with a separate building for common toilet and shower rooms. What I appreciate about the place was the serenity. Plus, of course, since this was owned by my friends' relatives, our meals were cooked by them. We just have to go to the dining table every meal. How cool is that?

Here's some picture of the camp site -

A red pineapple!

The view from outside our room! Believe it or not, there's a lot of fish in that gunky pond.

We got to rest also in makeshift cottages beside the lake. The beach is also just walking distance from our place but we weren't able to take pictures. Sadddd.

We spent the whole Maundy Thursday just lounging in the camp site. But of course, we didn't just stay there. We also went road-tripping within the vicinity. 

The first place we went to was the Old Watch Tower. There really was not much to see. Just these -  

Photo by Drekz Logus

Ohh I have to warn you, there's a lot of kids that will bug you to buy their products. Some stones inside a jar. House decor, of some sorts. They can get a little bit pushy. 

Next we went to Bahay na Bato Art Gallery. It's a well-maintained hacienda-like property fronting the beach. It has a big garden and in the far end is a house made from stones. There's an entrance fee of 20 pesos per person, 15 pesos for kids and senior citizens.

Photo by Drekz Logus

Photo by Drekz Logus

The last one's some weird piece of stone art noh? Hehe. Anyhoo, before going home to take our lunch, we passed by this road. It was so picture-perfect that we decided to stop for some photo ops.

Photo by Drekz Logus

When someone says La Union the first thing you'll think is surfing. And the best place in La Union to do that is in San Juan. We went there just when the sun was about to set. We thought that there will be a lot of people there since it was Holy Week so we decided to just sight-see and not surf. And we were right. We just sat by the stage of a public party that's happening by the beach and ordered some chips and beers.

Photo by Drekz Logus

By nightfall, we had dinner at this famous restaurant - Surf Shack. The food there was superb. I was impressed by their service water! Nice presentation oh - 

We spent Saturday morning by just chilling again. We went back to reality (I mean Manila) after lunch. And as expected the traffic in SCTEX and NLEX was horrible. 

So that's about it. How about you? How did you spend your vacation?

Missing the beach,

Yosh

Bad week

If you have read my last post, you probably are expecting stories of our holy week escapades in this post. I was supposed to. But 'things' happened and I got too lonely to blog about happy things. It seemed like God tested my faith this week.

At the start of the week, I was welcomed by a bad news at work. I am to lose some and regain things I thought I was able to finally get rid before. What's even worse was that I was informed that everything will happen in a span of a week. But since I promised myself not to write anything work related anymore I won't dwell on the details. 

Health-wise, this week was hell. My throat acted up again. Maybe I should really obliged by my doctor's order to have my tonsils removed. What do you think guys?

Then, there's this happy-sad announcement. I felt genuinely happy for the recipient of the good news but at the same time I was sad that again I was left behind. You know how 'comparing yourself to others' suck. I know but I still can't help it.

It was Thursday when Courageous Caitie was taken by the Lord. If you haven't heard her story yet, she was that three year old girl who went through a lot because the doctors cannot figure out what's wrong with her. It was only after a few months and a lot of tests done that she was finally diagnosed with a rare type of leukemia. I was deeply affected by her story because her parents were from the wedding industry and her mother is one of the women I look up to in our NewlyWeds@Work group. I do not know them personally and I am not even a mother yet to relate to the pain, but the moment I saw the picture of Jayjay Lucas hugging her lifeless child, my whole being was shaken. I cried for the people I do not know - for Caitie, she fought a good battle but still lost. - for her parents, it is already a challenge to get over the pain of losing someone, but the thought that after all these they still have bills to pay. Oh Lord, please help them.

Next week is still a mystery for me. My life is about to repoint to somewhere I'm scared to go. Right now, I am convincing myself that change is good. The Lord will be with me. I will not be alone. Can you guys pray for me?

But before all that, it's the weekend. Let's try to enjoy!

Scared but excited,

Yosh