When I die...

Our family has been dealing with a lot of deaths lately. Last year, my lola's brother died of cancer. Early this month, my grandfather from the other side died also. Not sure of the reason since I'm not talking to them (wasn't able to go too since I'm on the US, and even if I'm here, I'm not sure if I want to go). Going back, just this Monday, another brother of the same grandmother died because of heart attack. And her other sister is now battling a disease. Too many things happening.

Then suddenly, it dawned on me. What if I die now? I don't want to think about it but I know I have to. A lot of people depends on me now. If I die, they will suffer financially and emotionally. I have to get some sort of insurance or at least a memorial plan. 

While on this thought, these questions ran in my mind. Given the chance to decide --

1. How do I want to be presented in my wake? 

2. Should I be cremated?

3. Do I want to be buried underground or in an urn inside our house?

Ok, a little morbid, but I'm sure this will be extremely helpful for my loved ones. Here's my answers --

1. Definitely, I do not want people to see me on my wake. But right now, I'm not sure yet if I want to be cremated. Maybe if I'll have a contagious disease, that would be preferable. I'm yet to decide if I'll retain my body as is, then just have a closed-casket funeral or I just want my urn to be displayed. Either way, no face for the people to see. I want them to remember me at my most beautiful moment. If I get sick, I do not want them to see my unhealthy face. If I get run over by a car, I do not want them to see bruises. If I get killed, I do not want them to sense my fear while dying. If I die on my sleep, I do not want them to see that I'm thinking of a problem before I sleep... Given those thoughts, I want a large portrait of me displayed in the wake. My most beautiful picture please! 

2. As mentioned in 1, I'm not sure yet. I have nothing against cremation. Then I want my casket to be closed so a beautiful white casket wont be necessary. If I die tomorrow, I'll let my family decide. Hehe! Maybe choose the cheaper option.

3. Of course, buried! If I get cremated, oh please do not put my urn inside the house. That's creepy! Ok here's what I want. Even if I'll be cremated, I want to be buried underground. Not the apartment types where the urns are placed ha? You know those little boxes piled up together? No way! I want to be buried underground, with grass, with lapida, with a place for my family to sit on and with a place for the kids to run when they visit me on my birthday. In short, I want to be buried in a memorial garden. Mental note: buy a lot in Mt. Zion or Taytay Memorial or Holy Gardens Taytay.

BONUS ITEMS!

WAKE

- Do NOT hold my wake in our house. I do not want my family to remember that this is the spot where Yosh's urn or casket was placed during the wake. Something like that. Rent a chapel! There usually is one inside the cemetery.

- Fill my wake with white flowers

- Use white casket. If possible, use white for everything. 

- Play my favorite music! I want a happy vibes wake. Oh well, it depends on how I died no? But really it's fine by me if you'll play cards or if there'll be terembe or sakla or bingo. That will pull more people, right? And I want more people in my wake!

- Serve butong kalabasa. I enjoy that during wakes!

INTERMENT

- I want everyone to wear white shirts. 

- Release white balloons

- I want my closest friends to speak about me on my last mass. I'll name them for you to hunt - my husband, of course; from my family - Tito Arvin; from my college friends - Joann; from my work friends - Lara. If other people want to speak, let them! I'll be by the sidelines, listening.

- No pang-patay songs while you guys are walking me to the cemetery. No "Hindi kita malilimutan". Argh! Nothing too vulgar also, I do not want that much attention. Play some love songs. Sitti songs or Kyla songs will do.

Here's my peg to give you a better picture --

Wake of Ms.Patty (RIP) of Nonstopbabble. Photo grabbed from Mommy Fleur blog. 

I know you're gonna miss me when I'm gone but please try not to cry. It's hard, I know! Hahaha! Ohh and please do tell my family this when I die so my wish will be granted.


Maybe I'm sad that's why I'm writing this,
Yosh