Be Gentle

This morning, I saw that familiar sign again. It is my everyday reminder to be gentle.

I see this everyday at the office when I'm sitting at the throne.

Yeah I need it. And I need it bad.

If you know me personally, you'll attest that I really have a bad mouth. My mind and my mouth works very good together. My mouth says what my mind thinks. Most of the times it's helpful. But sometimes I hurt people with my words. I'm not very proud of it. That I tell you. But there are some tactfulness acts that I do NOT regret doing. I always live up to my mantra that I do not want to regret things, so if I feel the need to do or say something, expect that I will. But there are some instances that I say things without even thinking about it. It might be - spur of the moment, I'm in a really angry mood, loud thinking, or just my pathetic desire to crack a joke. I don't know. I'm not even trying to explain myself here. But one thing's for sure, I only do this to the people I'm comfortable with. Is that a compliment? Nah! But believe me, I'm always quiet around people I don't know well or those I don't like.

Just recently, I had my biggest blow. I hurt someone super important to me. I posted this instantly -

Sorry for the F word. I was just totally disappointed with myself. I should have used something nicer like this cartoon from one cute person I follow on IG - 

Sometimes, in my desire to defend myself, I think that this is the real me eversince. I am like this since time immemorial. I am not getting any harsh-er. Sometimes I think it's the people I know who's getting sensitive. I surely can get away easier before. I was again reminded of my favorite line - PEOPLE CHANGE.

But then again, just thinking that I've lost a friend and that now I am staying away from a few, I have to accept that no one is at fault but ME. I'm not even sure why am I avoiding these people. At the back of my mind, I thought of it as my defense mechanism so I won't hurt them again. Or I'm just too shy to face them again.

If you have an advise for me, can you write it down? I really need it.


Praying for good vibes,
Yosh